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Jul 102013

fifty shades of grey glass dildo

The “Sexual Happiness People” over at Lovehoney.com were so awesome, they gave me the Fifty Shades Glass Dildo (I’m shortening the name because Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy Glass Massage Wand is a ridiculously long name) in exchange for my honest opinion.

This is my first glass dildo and now I know why glass is such an incredible material for sex toys. I can seriously see myself getting addicted to glass toys. The sensuously sleek finish of the glass glides effortlessly with very little lube. If you self lubricate well, you might not even need any lube at all. I don’t and so I need just a small amount of silicone or water based lube and it lasts an amazingly long time on this toy. The deliciously unyielding rigidity of the glass is becoming something my body craves.

The glass holds temperature well and even at room temperature it feels cool upon insertion but quickly warms with my body heat. This makes glass dildos great for temperature play, if you like to chill your dildos in the fridge. Or you can soak the dildo in warm water just prior to use if you don’t want the shock of a cool dildo entering you. I’m lazy and don’t necessarily like to pre-plan my masturbation sessions so I just have at it, as is and even though I don’t care for the initial coolness of the glass, it’s not a big deal because it does warm up nicely inside me.

The Fifty Shades Glass Dildo is a good Goldilocks size in length and girth. The dildo measures 7 1/4” from end to end. The shaft is 1” in diameter and is adorned with 6 raised beads which rise about 1/8” high. On one end is a vaguely phallic head that is 1 3/8” in diameter and slightly tapers to a rounded point, which eases insertion. The other side ends with two bulbs (sort of a double bubble) that are each 1 3/8” in diameter. The end bulb is etched with the words “Fifty Shades of Grey” but I don’t feel the lettering when inserted. It’s nice that this dildo is double ended and can be used either way.

The 6 raised beads provide a little texture but nothing extreme. I feel them mostly when they graze past my vaginal entrance and I enjoy the sensation. The Fifty Shades Glass Dildo is slightly curved and it does a fair job of stimulating my G spot. As a newcomer to sex toys and having just recently discovered my G spot (and what kind of stimulation it likes), I find that I need a lot of pressure against it and I can’t quite get as much as I want from this dildo (it’s a leverage thing) but I do enjoy it for thrusting. If you don’t require as much hard pressure against your G spot as I do, then this dildo would probably work well for you. And if you’re not concerned at all about G spot stimulation, this is still a great glass dildo for thrusting.

The Fifty Shades Glass Dildo is made of completely uncolored, transparent glass and in its pure simplicity lies its beauty. The 6 raised beads elevate it to a level just beyond basic. It’s easy to keep clean because glass is one of the most hygienic materials for sex toys, as it’s nonporous. It’s also body safe and phthalates free. Routine cleaning can be done by simply washing it well with antibacterial soap and warm water. It can be sanitized in a number of ways including, washing in a 10% bleach solution. For more information on caring for glass see my STMSDS.

The dildo comes in fairly basic packaging that has a decent presentation. An unpadded satin storage pouch, which is a lot larger than it needs to be, is included and is printed with the words “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

I don’t know much about the Fifty Shades of Grey books other than they’ve sparked an interest in sex toys and kink for many and opening up to exploring sexuality is always a good thing, in my opinion. So, it wasn’t the connection to the books that drew me to this dildo. I wanted to review this dildo because it looked like a nice glass toy for beginners and since I am one, I can say that I think it is a good choice. It’s well crafted and moderately sized. The beads provide just enough texture to make it interesting but I don’t think it would be too much for most people. And, it’s reasonably priced. On the other hand, I don’t see any reason why this dildo wouldn’t appeal to the glass aficionado as well.

If I’ve convinced you that the Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy Glass Massage Wand is a good buy, and I think it is, make sure you visit Lovehoney.com and give them some love for making this review possible. They offer free shipping by Priority Mail and have what has to be one of the most robust return policies around. You can return any item, for any reason, no questions asked for up to 100 days after you placed the order so, you can shop with confidence knowing that if something doesn’t work out for you… no problem. The folks at Lovehoney.com want you to be happy.



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  • Glumbumble

    I like the look of this, though I still find it a bit intimidating. I honestly hated the Fifty Shades of Grey books, but you’re right in that it introduced a lot of people to kink and exploring their sexuality, so that is always a good thing. And I’d never heard of Lovehoney before, but with a return policy like that and free shipping to Canada (which very few sites have!) it’s definitely worth checking out. I’ve already bookmarked it for when I’m in the financial position to afford another luxury item ^^

    Great well rounded review. And what a mouthful of a title for a toy!

    • This is just a guess on my part but I figure with your vaginismus, it might be best to start out with a squishier material. The glass and metal might be a bit too much but then you never know. That’s the great thing about Lovehoney. You can try it and if it’s awful for you, just send it back.

      A new dildo I’ve recently tried is the Tantus Flurry O2 and it’s made of their dual density silicone. It’s kind of squishy so if you’re looking for a dildo, that one might work for you.

      Well, if you do decide to buy from Lovehoney, please come on back by here and click through one of my affiliate links. Don’t worry, I won’t know who you are or what you buy. I’ll just earn a small commission and it’ll make them want to send me more toys to review. 😉

      I just thought of this, it might be useful, maybe not. I read somewhere that using vibrating probes or butt plugs relaxes the sphincter muscles and makes anal sex a little easier.

      I wonder if you inserted a vibrating egg and made it part of your foreplay, the vibrations would help relax the vaginal muscles before you had sex. Just a thought. I don’t know if you’ve already tried something like that.

      Lovehoney has one that’s remote controlled. That could be fun for your husband to play with during foreplay. I can’t speak to how well it works, as I’ve not tried it but then again, they have that great return policy. Here’s the link if you’re interested: Remote Control Egg

      • Glumbumble

        Yeah, I already learned I need something a bit more tapered and softer to make it easier to insert. The Mona 2 is good in that regard. And I do find just holding the toy against my opening seems to relax it internally. I haven’t tried it yet prior to insertion, but it has been a while since we ha intercourse so I’ll definitely give it a try.

        Have you tried any vixskin dildos that Epiphoria has mentioned numerous times? Do you think they’re softer than the dual silicone?

        Any one of your links out is considered an affiliate link right? If I click on it and then bookmark the page for later, will you still get commission?

        • No Vixskin for me yet but I WANT to try it. The two product lines that are dual density silicone are the Tantus O2 line and Vixskin. I don’t think there are any other manufacturers that make dual density. Basically, it is a firm silicone core covered with a squishier outer layer of silicone. I don’t know how the two lines compare to each other. Epiphora has reviewed both, you could ask her which is squishier.

          And there’s a wide range of squish when it comes to silicone toys. It can vary quite a bit. I don’t have enough experience to say which manufacturers have softer silicone but I could ask on Twitter where I might get answers from veteran sex toy reviewers. Are you one Twitter? There’s a lot of sex toy information to be found there.

          That’s a good question about bookmarking the link. I’m not sure. I’d have to ask around. The surest way is when you’re ready to purchase just stop by here and click through. Most of the links to retailers on my site are affiliate links but I do have a few that are direct, nonaffiliate links because the retailers require it. This review has two that are not affiliate links. They would be the two that have lovehoney in the URL. The affiliate links have shareasale in the URL.

          • Glumbumble

            I just left a message for her on her Cush review, which is one of her favourite in the O2 line. I wanted to know which was squishier, and if the ridge on the Cush hurts at all. The only dildo I own has a similar ridge, but I think it sticks up a bit more than the Cush’s, but it’s so painful on insertion and withdrawal. I regret spending the money on it. But it was the first 100% silicone dildo I ever bought and it was supposed to help me with dilation. I don’t even remember what the maker is. There is some give to it, but it’s that ridge that’s the killer.

            I am on Twitter but I never really use it. It always looked really complicated to me. Like when you want to question a post on there you have to somehow send out a hashtag or something… I don’t know, it’s so weird to use. I’m used to Facebook.

            Okay, I’ll do that. I might end up buying lingerie on there, since they have some good prices. And we’ve been needing some new lube since the Wet Original isn’t cutting it anymore. It’s too tacky and dries up too quickly.

          • I have the Cush O2 and the Flurry O2 and the Cush is fat. Quite a lot of girth on that one. So, I don’t know if that would be an issue for you. The Flurry is a more average size and made of the same material. They both have ridges but in different places.

            Twitter is pretty simple once you figure it out. Basically just follow some people you think sound interesting and you’ll see everything they post. If you want to say something directly to someone but publicly you start the tweet with the @ and their name. You can Direct Message if you want it not to be public but you can only DM people if they are also following you.

            The hashtag thing isn’t totally necessary. You use it when you want people to find it when they search for something. Like I might tweet about a promotion that’s going on and I would put #sextoys in the tweet. So when someone searches for #sextoys they’ll see my tweet. You don’t really have to use them and most people don’t use them all the time.

            Well if you want to give it another try you can follow me and I’ll follow back.

            I was thinking, if ridges don’t work for you, Tantus makes a dildo in three sizes called the Silk. It’s completely smooth with no ridges or pronounced head. It’s not the O2 silicone, just their regular silicone which I’ve not tried yet so, I don’t know how squishy it is. Check it out Tantus Silk

          • Glumbumble

            Girth would definitely be an issue. I did find the Mona 2 a bit wide, but the way it’s tapered makes it a lot easier to insert. I’m still a little peeved I haven’t been able to find my G spot with it. Epiphora mentions that she just has to put it inside and the rumbling somehow gets her G spot going. I tried that just this afternoon after coming about 4 times or so and I got nothing. I even tried putting a finger inside to see if I could feel it, but again, nothing.

            When you put it that way Twitter sounds a bit easier to understand. I’ll have to give it a try.

          • Camryn Jones

            Hi there!
            1) Another company with dual density toys is Blush Novelties. Check out their Real Nude line.
            2) Fellow vaginismus warrior here, you can find me on Twitter (@RynJ21) along with lots of super interesting people. Join us. We have dildo pics!

          • Glumbumble

            Thanks for the heads up. I like the look of the Ergo Mini, it looks very easy to insert and it’s something that looks like it could work in a harness as well. Which we’ve been looking to try, but we needed to find something beginner friendly. Epiphoria recommends the Mustang, but that is one expensive dildo. For some reason there’s no price though on the Blush website.

          • Glumbumble


          • gardenlobster

            Also check out Gritty Woman’s video review of Bad Dragon! Their silicone is super squishy apparently. While they have some big (and weird) dildos, they have narrower ones, too. They aren’t cheap but I haven’t seen squishy silicone like that before.

  • Camryn Jones

    The name is longer than the dildo!*laughs* I think they have to put “50 Shades of” in the names though.
    Ignoring that, this looks like a fun toy. I’ve found that glass makes texture pleasant and I can rotate a glass toy much easier than a silicone one. Yummy 🙂