Want to support my blog? Clear your cookies, click the banner and shop!

Don't miss these great sex toy sales.

Dec 152013
 

shiri zinn cupcake vibrator

This review is NSFW

So, I’ve had the opportunity to try something ridiculous. Some might think it’s cutesy but I just think it’s dumb. It’s a vibrator shaped like a cupcake. Not only is the concept silly but it really does suck at being a vibrator. What good is it? I don’t know. Maybe there’s a market out there for silicone cupcakes that feebly try to be sex toys. All I know, is that I wanted to smash it with a hammer for having the nerve to exist. It makes me wonder how something like this could reach the point of manufacturing. Someone, somewhere in the product development process should have been the voice of reason and prevented this thing from becoming the abomination that it is.

I guess it’s possible that I’m being too harsh on the silly little Cupcake but I really don’t think so. I would rather suffer a million paper cuts than risk having one of my readers waste their hard earned money on this thing. Perhaps, if you happen to know someone who loves baking and hates having orgasms, this might be a welcomed gift. Anyone else though will probably never speak to you again if you gave them this miserable hunk of silicone. And that’s about the only good thing I can say about it. It’s made of silicone. Yay. They got one thing right.

Why do I hate this thing so much? Well aside from the fact that I’m just generally insulted by the “kitschy” nature of it, the vibration is rather weak. I don’t consider myself a power queen but I still found this vibrator (I have a problem even calling it that) to be a total snooze fest. It has a low and high steady vibration and neither one could get me off. In fact, masturbating with this thing just made me angry and the 3 patterns just annoyed me. But I think what pissed me off the most is that The Cupcake isn’t even splashproof. As in, don’t take it anywhere near water. The instructions tell you to clean it with a damp cloth. That’s really useful… a sex toy that can’t be properly cleaned. Seriously, someone ought to be ashamed of themselves for not making it waterproof and for the price point of this thing, it’s downright unjust.

I can’t imagine anybody wanting to know but here are the specs on the Cupcake:
It’s 2 5/8″ tall and 8″ around. It’s made of silicone with a matte finish, except the pretentious little cherry on top, which has a glossy finish. And as with most glossy silicone it produces some drag on the skin. Not that it matters. You wouldn’t want to put the cherry on your clit anyway because all the vibration is concentrated at the bottom of the cup. So, if this thing actually could make someone cum, it would work better for those who need broad stimulation. There’s just no way to get any focused stimulation out of it.

I don’t even need to recommend a better vibrator because it’s a good bet that anything else you decide to buy in this price range will be a better choice than The Cupcake. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention… this thing runs on two AAA batteries. That’s neither good nor bad really but it might have won a point or two from me if it was rechargeable. As if everything else about this thing wasn’t bad enough, it’s loud too. It really has no right to be, considering its underwhelming lack of power.  You probably should only put water based lube on it since it did fail the flame test however, the flame test has been proven unreliable. It comes in a polka dotted tin, if you care about such 28913-1things.

Like I said, I can’t really think of anyone who should buy this. It tries to be cute and I guess it’s a matter of opinion but mine is that it’s not. It tries to be a sex toy and fails miserably at that. If you want a cutesy little gag gift for someone, I’d recommend the Rub My Duckie vibrators. At least they’re waterproof. The Shiri Zinn Cupcake did absolutely nothing for me and no, I could not have an orgasm with this thing. About the only thing it’s good for is vibrating dizzyguy’s ball sack which he said, he kind of enjoyed. So, at least there’s that.

teabag

Dizzyguy wants it to be known that this photo is not a good representation of his sack. The ambient temperature was not conducive to creating a good hang.

Curious what others think about The Cupcake? Check out these links and follow The Cupcake on its magical journey.

shiri zinn cupcake vibrator

shiri zinn cupcake vibrator

The Cupcake visiting a nondescript corn field in my painfully boring Midwestern state.

Like this? Want more of it? Subscribe!

Get new posts sent to your inbox!

Get my sporadic newsletter filled with exlclusive deals, the latest sales and secret bonus giveaway codes.

  • Camryn Jones

    Yessss. *grins gleefully*
    What do you know, it sucks. I won’t be buying one!
    Also, I think Dizzyguy is being silly. It’s a great photo!

  • Ima Godiva

    Wow, I will not be buying one of these. ‘Course, I wasn’t going to before this review either! What a mound of pink ridiculousness. 😛

  • Kindred

    Bravo to Dizzyguy and to you for a great review!

  • Heaven

    Lmfao, what a lovely review on this ugly excuse for a waste of silicone toy. Also what a lovely pic of Dizzyguy’s sack on it.

  • In what way did it fail the flame test for you? I tested as well but it passed. Can’t put flame to the “sharp” edge of the wrapper, edges always smolder and burn to ash. I put my flame to the bottom rounded edge.

    • I didn’t do the flame test. I linked to Cara Sutra’s review where she did it on the edge of the icing and it melted.

      • Ok thanks, found it and commented.
        The fact that she got ash means it didn’t actually fail the test. Flame test isn’t 100% accurate, but I’m understanding it more and more as time goes on and I test more; I’d updated the videos and my posts to reflect that. 🙂

  • ‘Perhaps, if you happen to know someone who loves baking and hates having orgasms, this might be a welcomed gift.’ Amazing. I’m loving all these reviews of this terrible contraption but this one’s probably my favourite!

  • It’s sad that even the cherry doesn’t do the job!

  • Mr. Will

    I just love the wonderful reviews this is getting.

    Lesson that should be taken from this:

    Don’t fuck with reviewers.

  • Rayne Millaray

    Aww Dizzyguy’s balls make the review. Men!

  • Love the balls pic, and this line: “if you happen to know someone who loves baking and hates having orgasms, this might be a welcomed gift”! lol

  • Teal Valentine

    I remember wanting this little cupcake so much! That feels like such a long time ago, it’s a shame its so shit.

    Also, love Dizzyguy’s disclaimer. Men and their bits huh.

  • cammies on the floor

    I love this review! You are hilarious in your blunt honesty! Thank you for a great post!