I thought, well shit… I have one I don’t use and maybe it could really help this gal. See, she has hypertonic Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (which she talks about on my other blog) and it makes all manner of sexual endeavors a challenge for her but she thought that the Womanizer might allow her to have orgasms without the pain. So I said, “what the hell” and sent mine to her. The idea of  having her review it on my blog as part of #TeamAmazeballs was really an afterthought, but I’m glad that she agreed to do it. I think it’s interesting and important to get different perspectives.

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Photo by @AfterrDarkk

12 Rounds With A Womanizer

Soft, sleek and quiet, the Womanizer Pro W500 has been on my wish list since it first came to my attention. It’s advertised as a toy that “makes it possible to stimulate the clitoris without direct contact, thus avoiding over stimulation and hypersensitivity.” My pelvic floor is already overstimulated. It’s hypertonic, meaning there is no voluntary muscle relaxation. Orgasms are a thing of the past for me. It was my belief the Womanizer would be gentle enough, with its mild vibration and pulsating air, to bring me to orgasm. Keep reading to see the score card.

For starters, I have a tiny clitoris. Getting the silicone head to seat properly so the clitoris is inside the head is a challenge because there’s not a whole lot of peeking out going on. I had my hood pierced in 1998 to assist in orgasm. It helped me immeasurably.

It was a battle of epic proportions. The Womanizer was designed to give me an orgasm. I was hoping for plural events. My body is designed to orgasm. I have enjoyed many orgasms in my life. It’s something I really miss. My expectations were high. I trained for masturbation by going through a series of different preparations before use.

How do you prepare to masturbate? Don’t you just do it? Most people do. They feel like masturbating, go have a little fun, get off and clean up. I can’t approach this event with such a whimsical attitude. I really wish I could. I have to relax the pelvic floor beforehand. On a side note the best exercise for the pelvic floor is orgasm. That was my goal. Masturbation is an exercise? Count me in! Preparation can include a multitude of choices or a combination of many. A hot bath, a TENS unit, muscle relaxer, lidocaine gel inserted deep into my vagina near the cervix, or even a Valium glycerin suppository.

Round 1:  First Time Use

What I was expecting and what I received in return was rather odd. I started out on the lowest setting. The noise level is so soft I wasn’t sure it was even powered up. There was a very slight tingly sensation that was enjoyable. When I increased the speed to level 2, I started feeling extremely aroused. I stopped and started several times through this process. Arousal relaxes the pelvic floor as well.  I finally set the level on the third setting. I had an orgasm without a spasm, but I did ejaculate a small amount of fluid. This was a good start.

Round 2: Sudden Urge to Masturbate

I tried this thing called edging. Started at the lowest setting for 4 minutes and worked my way up to the third setting resting in between settings for 2 minutes. I even set a timer. On the third setting I had the same result, as the first go round; a small amount of ejaculate with no spasm. So I amped it up to the 4th setting and had a mini orgasm. A slight and very small twitch. I wasn’t over the top YES! I DID IT! It was more like an orgasm I wasn’t able to ride to the finish. Again there was some ejaculate. However, within 30 minutes I had to use my TENS unit to relax my pelvic floor because my ass hurt.

Round 3, 4 and 5:  Make It Happen

Because of my previous experiences with the fluid leakage, I used a catheter to make sure my bladder was empty. I wasn’t 100% confident it wasn’t urine. I can officially say it wasn’t. I felt the inability to follow through with the orgasm might be due to my fear of wetting myself during masturbation. I also have bladder issues. Additionally, I placed a large folded towel underneath my bottom to absorb any fluid. I was determined it was going to happen. I went three rounds in one session covering about 30 minutes.

Something happened. I went through all setting levels during this session. I leaked and rested. I squirted and rested. Then I gushed. There’s no other explanation for it. And Omigerd! I didn’t know that much fluid was even possible to release. Much to my disappointment, there was no spasm or twitch. I was going for a full-bodied orgasm where you can feel your pulse inside your vagina throbbing afterward. I didn’t make it this session, but I didn’t have any pain following this stellar experience.

Round 6, 7 and 8:  It Happens

I will admit to being somewhat fearful of going the forced orgasm route simply because of the resulting pain that can follow. But I was willing to take the chance. Going almost 100 days between orgasms is a bitch. Sexual frustration is part of my life. My body is still aroused. I still get wet. I still want to have wild monkey sex. I started out masturbating with the intention of increasing blood flow directly to my clitoris.

I went for broke this time. I took no resting breaks in between sessions. I didn’t relocate the Womanizer. I skipped starting out slow and went straight to the highest setting. Within 10 seconds, I gushed and rode it out. And gushed again. Then I had an epic orgasm. Full bodied in less than 5 minutes.  Tingles and throbs and twitching everywhere. The kind where my eyes rolled back in my head, my body perspired, my respiration and pulse increased. I was too physically drained to shout out my success but it left me with a smile on my face and no pain in my ass.

Round 9, 10 and 11:  Oops I did it again.

I repeated the exact same process to see if I could recreate the same results. I wanted another orgasm but without the gushing. Don’t get me wrong, it feels fantastic but that’s not a normal biological response for my body. I can count on one hand the times it has happened to me in my entire sexually active life. I received the same results. Gushing. Orgasm. Smile. No pain. Goal achieved.

Twelfth and Final Round

I tried several different positions during use as recommended on their website. I cannot use this thing without gushing. It’s not possible. However, the orgasm that follows is next world. There is the occasional pain in the ass that follows, but that’s my fault. During the last round I gave myself 3 orgasms. After the first orgasm, there was no more gushing. The Womanizer knocked me out with a combination of pulsating air and light vibration.

I can’t gush enough about the Womanizer Pro W500.

About The Author
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I’m a Midwestern farm wife and country redneck; a costume wearing goddess in charge of my domain. I’m outspoken, stubborn and opinionated with a cat that hates me and a husband who spoils me rotten. Without chanted spells, incantations and the wave of a special stardust shooting wand, organization lives in Wonderland. Dancing naked in the rain and singing in the shower is something everyone should try at least once. I settle for tact because I’m not smart enough to do snarky, sarcastic, pithy and witty on my own. I can pull a rabbit out of a hat or other nether regions. It’s a very special rabbit though. I’m prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse. My comfortable recliner sticks to my ass more often than not.  Don’t let the S on my cape fool you. It doesn’t stand for super. It stands for Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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I sincerely appreciate @AfterrDarkk reviewing the Womanizer Pro W500 for my blog. And I am so happy that it works for her. Even though it could give me orgasms, it brings me more pleasure to know that it does so for someone who struggles to have them.

You can buy your own Womanizer Pro W500 at PeepShow Toys, SheVibe, Lovehoney and GoodVibes.

The post Review: Womanizer Pro W500 – A Different Perspective appeared first on Toy Meets Girl. © 2018 Toy Meets Girl All rights reserved. No part of this feed may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior permission from the website owner.

Yes, I’m going to start this review off with a rant. Can we rename this thing for fuck’s sake? Who the hell thought “Womanizer” was a good name for sex toy? That word generally has negative connotations pretty much everywhere. Every time I hear the name in my head I think of this guy¹ and that’s not conducive to my masturbatory success.

I thought maybe since the company is German, they had lost something in translation. And I’m not even close to being the only blogger who HATES the name of this thing. In fact, it nearly turned me off from even trying to get one for review. But then other reviews started coming in and I was intrigued. Some said they loved it and some hated it. I had to try it. I had to know what the big deal was about the suction plus vibration (at least I thought that’s what this thing was going to do).

I lied – I have one other little rant to get out of the way. Who the hell styled this thing? It looks like a bedazzled Barbie ear thermometer. Seriously, the rhinestones and cheesy prints were totally unnecessary. I also received the one that I find most unattractive – the leopard print. Rawr. It reminds me of being at the skating rink when I was a kid, wearing that off-the-shoulder animal print shirt with jelly shoes and jelly bracelets up to my elbow and neon everything… rocking out to some Cyndi Lauper².

OK, I do have to give credit where it’s due. I have the second generation Womanizer Pro W500 and its styling is a slight bit better than the original model. Still, animal print and rhinestone power buttons just didn’t need to happen.

But I care more about how it feels than how it looks so, I had to get my hands on one anyway. And if it weren’t for the generous folks who make the Womanizer Pro, I probably wouldn’t have gotten one. So, I have to give them a big thank you and I apologize for the rants… sort of.

Alright, awful name and tacky 1980s aesthetic aside, how does this thing feel?

At first, it didn’t feel right – at all. I couldn’t figure it out. I stopped to regroup, added more lube and tried again. This time, I found sort of technique where I wiggle it ever so slightly. Level four seemed to work the best for me. The higher intensity levels are too strong and made me feel numb, which I thought it wasn’t supposed to do. Eventually, it produced a fairly powerful orgasm that felt like if I kept going I’d squirt but I didn’t want to so I stopped. I waited a moment and then for shits and giggles, tried it again and achieved another orgasm much easier than the first and it felt just as intense.

I’m at a loss to describe exactly what this thing feels like. I am also at a total loss to explain exactly why I like it. There is a gentle suction plus vibration thing happening. Although, it’s not precisely a sucking action either. It’s perplexing. It’s like puffing air or something. The company says it’s an “air touch/pulse air/wind kiss/touch less/pressure wave intimate stimulator”. Many reviewers far more articulate that I am have struggled to describe the sensation. This is definitely nothing like a clit pump, if that’s what you were imagining. While the higher settings were too strong for me, the levels that do work for me are more subtle than I thought I would ordinarily need yet, somehow it works. It’s like magic.

It feels vaguely like when dizzyguy gives me oral and he sucks gently on my clit, except the Womanizer Pro is more rhythmic, remains consistent and doesn’t get tired. Anorgasmia makes it nearly impossible for me to orgasm from oral sex so, it’s definitely not a lack of technique on dizzyguy’s part. I just need a machine that can do things humans can’t. And apparently the Womanizer Pro is one such machine.

You do kind of create a seal with the tip of it on your clit. Just holding it stationary and letting it do its bewildering brand of stimulation wasn’t working really well for me so I added a slight wiggling motion and THAT did it. If you don’t get the tip positioned just right, there are some pretty hilarious slurping and gurgling sounds that happen. I kind of like the sensation of it even when it’s not sealed, though the noise is distracting.

The Womanizer Pro is a nightmare to clean. Sure, the silicone tip³ pops off and that’s easy enough to wash with soap and water but the unit itself is not even splash-proof so, I use a cleaning wipe and try to get into all the nooks and crannies.

I wasn’t sure how it could be possible that you can use lube⁴ with this thing. I thought it would get sucked up into it but when it came time to clean it, I didn’t find lube anywhere other than on the removable tip. This thing just befuddles me. I don’t know how it works and I don’t know why it works. To further confuse me, the tip glows red while in use for absolutely no discernible reason⁵. It is an enigma.

Wondering what the differences are between the original Womanizer W100 and the new Womanizer Pro W500 (other than the price hike)? The Pro W500 has 8 levels of intensity vs. the W100’s 5 levels. It’s supposed to be quieter. The silicone tip is larger to accommodate a larger clitoris. The styling is slightly better. And that’s about it, according to the literature that I have.

The Womanizer Pro is USB rechargeable. The one I received came from Germany and has a European outlet adapter and USB cable. I don’t know if the American packaging will be any different.  If it does not include the appropriate outlet adapter, you can pick one up here.

There is just no way to compare the Womanizer Pro to any other sex toy because nothing out there does what this thing does – whatever the hell it’s doing. I can genuinely say that they managed to create something totally unique and innovative. So few toys that make that claim really deserve it but this one actually does.

I honestly have no idea who I could recommend this toy to because it is so different from everything else out there. I can say that if you like wand massagers and need that kind of broad stimulation then the Womanizer Pro is probably not going to work for you.

Bottom line? I like it but I have no idea why. This thing really shouldn’t work for me but somehow, it does. It succeeds in giving me orgasms and I’m just going to have to accept the fact that I don’t understand how it works.

The Womanizer Pro W500 was provided by epi24 GmbH in exchange for an unbiased review.

The post Review: Womanizer Pro W500 appeared first on Toy Meets Girl. © 2018 Toy Meets Girl All rights reserved. No part of this feed may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior permission from the website owner.