Review: FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet

Mar 032018

I recently declared that I was going on a mission to find Sex Toys Under $50 That Don’t Suck™. To that end, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet was the first toy I requested to review. I saw a couple of positive reviews for it on PeepShow Toys‘ site by other reviewers I know so, I thought this vibe might have a good chance of not sucking.

And wow, does it not suck. I was kind of shocked the first time I turned it on. It’s got some good power behind it and it’s a pleasant, non-buzzy vibration. I also instantly fell in love with the silicone. I kinda wish everything was made of this silicone. It’s extremely soft and silky with almost no drag at all.

So, first impressions were very good but how did it feel on my clit? In a word – perfect. The lowest steady vibration setting is exactly what I need to have orgasms. It actually feels a lot like the Lust L2 that I never shut up about (also on the Sex Toys Under $50 That Don’t Suck™ list).

My clit seems to have changed and evolved over the years. When I started this blog, I had SSRI induced anorgasmia. Back then, it took pretty powerful vibration to get me off. Since then, I’ve found a medication that reverses the anorgasmia (for me) and now I don’t need such powerful vibration. So, the low steady vibration is all I need to have orgasms. The high steady setting is actually a bit too much for me but that power will be appreciated by some folks.

It even passed my personal test of giving me three orgasms in a sesh – the criterion needed to make me fall in love with a vibrator.

They call this vibe a bullet but it’s not going to fit into any toys that have a bullet cavity, like Tantus’ vibrating dildos. It’s a nice size for ease of grasping though. You can’t avoid feeling the vibration a lot in your fingers but I guess that’s to be expected given its strength and size.

The FemmFunn Ultra Bullet really exceeded my expectations but it’s not without a flaw. Well, this may only be a flaw to me, others might find it a feature. Patterns… ugh. I wish they would have just given this vibe steady vibration settings and maybe like more than three.

But if you like patterns, this vibe has 17 of them. I just hate it when I accidentally find myself in pattern land and have to press the button that many times to get back to where I want to be. I did discover that if you are on the high steady vibration setting and press and hold the button to turn it off, when you turn it back on, it’s on high (so it has memory) and if I press the button one more time, it goes back to low steady vibration. So, I’ve avoided the patterns most of the time.

Water-based lube is the best choice to use with this vibe. It’s also waterproof, which makes cleaning easy. And you can do that with soap and water or a toy cleaner. It’s rechargeable and while it’s doing that, it makes me feel like I’m at a rave.

The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet ticks many of the boxes required for me to call it a great vibe at good price. I think the only thing missing is a travel lock but I can overlook that. It does comes with a pouch though and that’s kind of nice when you consider there are $200 sex toys that don’t.

PeepShow Toys sells the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet for $49 but right now, they’re offering a bundle that includes Sliquid lube and cleaner for $55. That’s a good deal but you can make it even better by using code: DIZZY for 10% off.