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Oct 252015
 

Two-Cumber 1

I’ve agonized over writing this review. I coveted a Fucking Sculptures dildo for so long and when they finally agreed to send me one for review, I was ecstatic. I asked if I could review the G-Spoon because it looks like it would really work for me and from what I’ve heard from other reviewers, it stimulates in a way that I would simply adore. Unfortunately, Fucking Sculptures sends what they can, when they can for review but I understand, since they are a small artisan company. They said they’d send me the Two-Cumber and I was still thrilled to receive one of their beautiful, fuck-able works of art.

And I want to love the Two-Cumber with every fiber of my being – but, I just can’t. No matter how hard I try. It’s just not working with my body in the best way possible. I don’t think the shape and size are quite right for me. I’m pretty sure that the G-spoon’s shape would have been much more compatible with my body. So, I’m really, truly saddened by the fact that I can’t make the Two-Cumber do wonderful things for my vagina.

I have not one single complaint about craftsmanship or quality. It’s a gorgeous dildo in its own right. And I can manage to achieve some G-spot stimulation with it but it’s awkward. The Two-Cumber I received just isn’t long enough. It’s hard to hold onto and it distracts me from the task at hand.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some great orgasms with the Two-Cumber but it’s not everything I’d hoped it would be. I think if it was a bit longer and I had more to hold onto and more length to leverage pressure against my G-spot, it would work better for me. I do enjoy the nearly total lack of friction. It takes just a bit of lube for this dildo to glide effortlessly, which is characteristic of glass dildos in general.

Two-Cumber 2

That’s the thing with these artfully crafted dildos… they will all vary a bit in shape and size. They aren’t made on a production line so of course, each one will be unique. Although, Fucking Sculptures tries to keep the dimensions as close as possible to their specified sizes.

Other reviewers who have the G-spoon gush (pun intended) over how wonderful it is for AFE Zone (or, A spot) stimulation and I listen to their praise of the dildo with a yearning, because AFE Zone stimulation is one of my favorite kinds of stimulation. I rarely achieve it with toys. About the only time I get it is when dizzyguy and I use the Liberator Wedge under my butt during sex. Then he hits the spot when he goes in deep and I LOVE it. So, to have a toy that could do that for me would be incredible.

Maybe someday there will be a good sale and I’ll have the cash to get my own wonderful G-Spoon. So come on folks, make my AFE Zone stimulating dreams come true and click through my links to buy your sex toys. Just make sure to clear your cookies first to ensure that I get the commission.

All types of lube are compatible with Fucking Sculptures’ dildos. Unlike most glass sex toys you SHOULD NOT BOIL a Fucking Sculptures dildo. Mass produced glass sex toys are usually made of borosilicate glass but Fucking Sculptures’ dildos are made of soda-lime glass. So, you can simply just clean it with soap and water or use a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it. Make sure you don’t use anything abrasive that will scratch the surface.

My Two-Cumber is the small and measures about 7” end to end and 1.6” in diameter at the thickest point. They offer the Two-Cumber in white, black, red, gold and green. It is available in three sizes and a storage pouch is included. But you know what’s really awesome? They give you a lifetime guarantee… on a glass dildo. Crazy right? But they understand that accidents do happen and if you damage your dildo they will replace it for FREE (you pay shipping)! But they’ll do this only once so, be careful. All they ask is that you send the damaged dildo back to them or email a picture showing the damage.

I am proud to finally own a Fucking Sculptures dildo, even if it doesn’t rock my world the way I wish it did. But having one makes me feel like I’ve leveled up as a sex toy reviewer. I have arrived.  I do truly regret that I can’t give the Two-Cumber a five-star review based on my personal experience. I can, however, give it a perfect rating for beauty and craftsmanship. But that’s just how the cookie crumbles… not every sex toy is going to work for every body. It wouldn’t be the first time that I wanted to love something but couldn’t. I still think owning a Fucking Sculptures dildo is absolutely worth while but just make sure you consider the size and shape carefully. It also wouldn’t hurt to read some reviews by other bloggers to help you make a decision.

*** UPDATE ***
I just wanted to add to this review that while the Two-Cumber didn’t work for me, I purchased the medium G-Spoon and I am in LOVE with it.  It’s gorgeous and gives me AFE Zone stimulation if I go deep and G-spot stim if I go shallow.  And it definitely makes me squirt.  Not sure if I’ll ever get around to writing a full review for my G-Spoon since it’s something I purchased myself.  I usually stay too busy with sponsored reviews to write reviews for things that I buy.  But I wanted to add this to let everyone know how awesome it is.

Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon

 

fucking-sculptures

Fucking Sculptures provided the Two-Cumber in exchange for an unbiased review.

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  • Lunabelle

    I have a large Two-cumber, and for me, it’s pretty awesome. The added length gives me more to hang on to, and…well, you know how I feel about added girth.

    • I’m pretty happy with the girth of this one. Just wish it was longer and maybe didn’t taper so small toward the end. The picture on their website doesn’t look like that. I know they’re all one of a kind but that’s part of what makes it hard to hold onto.

  • Camryn Jones

    Dude, I have a Two Cumber I can’t even use yet, so I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s a beautiful bit of art though. What is that color?

    • What size is yours? This one is black.