This week’s TMI Tuesday questions were inspired by Sex-Ed writer Jon Pressick and his #dailysexdiscussion that happens on twitter.
1. Have you ever investigated having an open relationship?
Not exactly an open relationship but dizzyguy and I were swingers for a short time.
– Have you tried to have an open relationship?
See above. I would not want an open relationship.
2. Do you have any sexual phobias?
No phobias. I am concerned about the presence of feces during anal sex.
– What have you done to manage or overcome them?
enemas before anal sex
3. What is the best new sexual activity you have tried in 2013?
Within the last year we’ve been taking part in several new sexual activities. First, I got my libido and orgasmic functioning back through some medication tweaks. We didn’t have anal for the first time in 2013 but this is when it became pleasurable. I started my adventure with sex toys this year as well.
4. Have you ever called into a sex advice radio/television show or written to a sex advice columnist?
No
– Was it helpful?
n/a
5. Would you use the services of a sex therapist? Why or why not?
Yeah I guess so, if I felt it was necessary.
6. Should sex therapists be allowed to engage in actual sexual activities with clients? Why or why not?
I’m not sure how I feel about this. Never gave it any thought until just now. My knee jerk reaction is, no but I feel like I could convince myself of thinking otherwise.
Bonus: Have you read any adult sex ed books lately? What do you recommend?
No books but a few months ago we watched the Tristan Taormino anal sex videos. They were OK.
Nice TMI ! I’m interested in your answer to #3 – how did you boost your libido? My wife was hot n horny for 6 months, then suddenly switched off. (It’s the subject of my whole blog: http://wp.me/p32bD8-js)
My sexual functioning problems were likely caused in large part by the psychotropic medications that I take. That’s why I said I got my functioning back through medication tweaks. So, unless your wife is on that type of medication, I doubt my advice would help. If she is, let me know and I can share some things that I’ve been through.
If she’s on the birth control pill, that can lower libido. She can have her hormone levels looked at. They should look at all the girly hormones, testosterone and prolactin.
Female libido is such a complicated thing, it would be hard for me to give any real useful advice other than the medication thing. I don’t mean to be rude, just trying to be helpful here but… relationship stuff can effect women’s libido quite a bit too.
See for me, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to have sex with my husband. I just had no interest in sex at all. I didn’t even care about masturbating. I was totally shut off.
I hope you all can get things back on track. Let me know if she’s on meds and I can tell you what has worked for me.
I had no idea that you had only started using sex toys this year. You come across as so experienced with them!
Well, thank you. I am a total newb.
You mention you didn’t used to find anal sex pleasurable and only recently it started to feel good. What changed? Was it just because your libido returned, do you think? I’ve been thinking about trying anal with my husband because vaginally hurts so much, so we’re both kind of hoping maybe it wouldn’t be quite so bad if we did anal instead. I’m just not sure how it can become pleasurable. I always thought of anal as more for the men since they have a prostate that makes anal sex really pleasurable.
I think it became pleasurable because I finally relaxed and we found our technique. Plus when I say that it has just become pleasurable, keep in mind that prior to very recently we didn’t try to have anal sex much at all.
I was (wrongly) convinced that it had to hurt or feel weird. It does not. But you have to start slow. And even still it can feel weird sometimes but it doesn’t hurt when we take our time. Dizzyguy is great about not going in too far or going too fast. Maybe someday I can take it deeper but we’re both happy with where I’m at now.
If you decide to start trying the most important thing is start slow and small. Especially if you’re not used to anything being is your ass. Like, just start with fingers and lots of lube… always lots of lube. Slowly work your way up to larger objects and eventually his penis. You can get plugs that graduate in size so that you slowly become accustomed to having something penis sized in there.
I can also recommend the anal sex videos by Tristan Taormino. There’s some good information for someone just beginning.
BTW, glad you found me here at my new blog.
Me too ^^ I found you in the comments on one of Hey Epiphora’s recent posts. I knew I hadn’t read anything from you lately and then I remembered that you used blogger, so I figured I’d go looking in the comments at her blog to find you.
He tried rimming me once, but while the idea itself turned me on, the act didn’t do much for me. I don’t know what was wrong. But I do find that when I’m masturbating and he’s helping, he can do something with his finger near my anus that feels really amazing for some reason. So maybe there’s hope for me yet ^^
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