Review: Funkit Toys NoFrillDo B

Mar 062018

Stop! Drop the jelly dildo and back away slowly. I have something better for your body, that costs about the same as that toxic piece of shit. I happily present to you, the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo B (or R or G).

The aptly named NoFrillDo is exactly what it sounds like – a no frills dildo. The shapes are simple and the fast curing platinum silicone, which is sourced in the US, is relatively inexpensive. Plus, they’re easy to make for minimized production cost. All of that means that you can get a nonporous, nontoxic, body-safe, silicone dildo for just $24! I don’t think I’ve seen silicone dildos for that kind of price anywhere[1. OK, PeepShow Toys has one by NS Novelties that I’ve reviewed but that silicone is hard as fuck. I didn’t care much for it.] and if you could find them, they’re likely going to be mass-produced in China. NoFrillDos are made right here in the US by a master Fucksmith (which he puts on his business cards).

The Fucksmith, otherwise known as Kenton, has taken a myriad of talents and accumulated knowledge from various practices to produce his silicone dildos. And with the NoFrillDo line, he makes it possible to “buy a safe, nontoxic sex toy without worrying about rent.”

So, since I’ve embarked on my quest to find Sex Toys $50 and Under That Don’t Suck™, it only made good sense that I check out one of these NoFrillDos for myself.

I chose the B model because it looked the most appealing to me. As I said, these designs are simple. I was a bit curious about the G-spot stimulating capabilities of the G model but just wasn’t all that attracted to the shape. Maybe I should give it a try someday. The R model is something almost completely out of my realm[2. Yeah, I know. I’ve fucked stranger things.] but if you have a unicorn horn fantasy, the R model is right up your alley.

All three NoFrillDo models are rather slender with the B model being the shortest and fattest at 6.5” insertable length and a diameter of 1.36”. Needless to say, size royalty need not apply here. But these dildos are sized to satisfy those who aren’t looking for a lot of girth.

The NoFrillDo dildos are made in four colors: cyan, magenta, yellow and black. You can get the cyan (Body-Safe Blue) and magenta (Peepshow Pink) at PeepShow Toys.

The silicone is pretty firm but not quite as firm as Tantus‘ standard silicone and definitely nowhere nearly as firm as this. The silicone is shore 20A (which is a technical classification of firmness) and Kenton says it’s “similar to medium steak”. Not sure about that. I haven’t eaten steak in ages.

I have to mention that I am impressed with how well the base is trimmed. I’ve seen companies charging much more for their dildos that do a horrible job of trimming the base. So kudos to Kenton for that.

You’ll also notice, if you look closely, there are slight concentric rings around the length of the dildo – you can’t feel these. They are an artifact of the production process that Funkit uses to make these dildos so affordable.

OK, that’s a lot of intro and back story but what about what really matters? How does it feel? Do I like using it?

Well, it actually felt… pretty good. As Kenton would say, it filled my hole. Is it the most intense experience I’ve ever had with a silicone dildo? No. But then I’ve had the privilege of trying dildos that come at exorbitant prices.

The two bumps give me the slightest hint of G-spot stimulation and it feels good to thrust it while I use a vibe on my clit. But this is where I hit a little snag. I wish the base was larger. I need more to grab onto and when I’m trying to use a clit vibe at the same time, I’m thrusting with my non-dominant hand (left) and it really starts to cramp up. I found this distracting. Keep in mind that I’m probably a bit out of practice with using my left hand to thrust a dildo.

One thing that surprised me is how slippery the NoFrillDo B is. When I first got it, I dragged it along my forearm, with no lube on it, and it was draggy as fuck. I thought this thing was going to be a lube hog but to the contrary, with a good water-based lube, this dildo glides really well. In fact, my vag couldn’t hold onto it while I lubed my clit vibe.

Despite the fact that I had trouble grasping the base (which may just be unique to me) I was impressed with this simple, low-cost dildo. The way I see it, the NoFrilldo B has to feel as good, if not better than an equivalent jelly piece of shit, with the bonus of not giving you infections or chemical burns.

I think the NoFrilldos fill a gap in the industry. If someone doesn’t have money to spend on a fancier dildo, they can still have a safe and healthy sex toy. And if a beginner doesn’t know what they like yet, these dildos would be a great way to get started.

If you think $24 for a silicone dildo is a good deal, try taking 10% off with code: DIZZY