Loved and Loathed 2014

I humbly present to you, my Loved and Loathed List of 2014. Luckily, I loved more than I loathed. I went back and looked at everything I reviewed in 2014 and chose those products that I thought were exceptionally good and spectacularly bad. Dildos (including two wooden ones), vibrators, lube, a butt plug, a pulsator and an oscillator are all represented in the “Loved” category. Most of my loathed are lower priced products but I was also merciless on luxury sex toy brand Jimmyjane for the Form 6. I also pulled no punches on the CalEx Natalie and I don’t think they’re too happy with me because of it but I do it all for you guys.

Loved:

Vixskin Mustang – This dildo truly has to be felt to be believed. Nothing else out there feels like Vixen’s VixSkin dual density silicone. It’s made with a firm core surrounded by some of the squishiest silicone you’re ever gonna feel. No dildo really feels like the “real thing” but the Mustang comes close. I love the Tie Bright option and it comes in neon pink and flesh tones too. The size is going to be perfect for a lot of people but if you want bigger, Vixen’s got you covered. Read my review.

Je Joue Uma – This is a deep rumbly vibrator that stole my heart the first time I used it. I absolutely love its vibrations – on my clit and in my vag. The silicone feels silky soft and wonderful and it’s contoured perfectly to hit the G-spot. Read my review.

Fun Factory Stronic Eins – Sometimes when companies try to create innovative sex toys, you end up with something that’s more gimmick than anything else but Fun Factory actually got it right with their Stronic pulsators. I liken it to a carnival ride for my vagina. The Stronic pulsators don’t vibrate or rotate or any of that been-there-done-that stuff. It pulsates – kind of like automatic thrusting or, a shake weight for your vagina. It bounces my G-spot around in such wonderful ways and there’s nothing that feels quite like it. Read my review.

NobEssence Seduction – One of my favorite sex toys is made out of wood. Did you even know that was possible? It’s too much to go into here but if you read my review, you’ll understand how and why it’s safe to make sex toys out of wood. The Seduction just has a natural warmth to it and it targets my G-spot like a heat seeking missile. There’s a large end and a small end to satisfy all types. Read my review.

Idée du Désir Structured Orchid– Another wood dildo made the “Love” list. This one comes all the way from France and it’s lovingly handcrafted by a very gifted artist. Like the Seduction, it has that natural warmth that only comes from a wood toy. It has ergonomic finger grips and it hits me right in my G-spot… in a very good way. Read my review.

BMS Swan Wand – This powerhouse double ended, dual motor wonder vibe from BMS Factory hasn’t even been released yet and it’s already gone through a name change. When I reviewed it, they were calling it the PalmPower Recharge. This thing rumbles like nobody’s business and I think it’s strong enough to satisfy the pickiest of power queens. Read my review.

(new)We-Vibe Touch – Take a vibrator that’s already pretty amazing and upgrade it with silky soft matte silicone and what do you get? Perfection. It’s strong and rumbly which makes it a favorite of many, including me. Read my review.

Pleasure Works Please Cream – Absolutely awesome lube! It’s glycerin and paraben free, which is the only kind of lube I use and recommend. Goodvibes says it’s water-based but I would call it a hybrid because it does contain a small amount of silicone. Since there isn’t much silicone in it, they say you can use it with silicone toys. I have used it with all my toys and it works great. Read my review.

njoy Pure Plug – This is the most comfortable butt plug I’ve tried. Yes, I think this solid stainless steel plug is more comfortable than silicone. I can wear this plug for long periods of time and it stays in place perfectly. The shape of the base is genius; sitting between the cheeks just the way you’d want it to. Read my review.

Jopen Envy Five – I think this vibe’s shape is the most appealing of all the Vanity vibes. It totally surprised me with its rumble and power. I love the way the buttons work because I’m never forced into the patterns. This one is great for G-spot and clit stimulation and it has all the features you’d expect from a luxury vibrator. Read my review.

Eroscillator Top Deluxe – It’s expensive but so worth it. Nothing else gives me orgasms like this toy appliance. Yeah, it’s ugly but it feels so good, you won’t care. It feels nothing like a vibrator because it doesn’t vibrate – it oscillates. Read my review.

 

Loathed:

OhMiBod Lovelife Smile – This vibe is so weak and buzzy, it really kind of pissed me off. I tried 3 of the Lovelife vibes and this one is by far, the worst. The Adventure had potential but didn’t fit me. The Cuddle actually turned out to be a nice vibe at a decent price. But stay away from the Smile.

NS Novelties Muse – I’m not really sure what they were aiming for when they designed this vibe. Then again, I don’t think the pronged clit vibes are for me anyway. It is strange looking, I’ll give ’em that. This vibe is the very definition of buzzy.

Closet Collection Lady Jadore – Probably the most bizarre sex toy I tried this year. It was supposedly designed to be multifunctional but it doesn’t work in any configuration that I could find. It’s like it wasn’t even built to fit human genitalia.

CalEx Natalie – I’m really starting to develop a hatred for these kinds of toys. Please, no more vibes shaped like bunnies, dolphins or any other critter. And if you insist on giving your vibe bunny ears, it’s probably best if they’re not stiff and stabby. The weak motor powered by the AAAs gave this vibe no redeeming value.

Jimmyjane Form 6 – Lest you think I’m only picking on cheaper vibes… I detest the Form 6. It’s way too expensive to suck this bad. The Form 4 is great but Jimmyjane failed in every way possible on this one.

Astroglide Sensitive Skin Gel – I was hoping that this would be a good, body-safe lube that people could find at their local drugstore but it’s not. Sure, it’s glycerin and paraben free but there’s one chemical in it that probably shouldn’t be and I think it’s responsible for the burning sensation. Yes, it burned.

And there you have it, my picks for the year.  Here’s to another year full of sex toys and thank you all for continuing to care about what I have to say.