Antidepressants can be libido and orgasm killers. I wrote at length about my struggles with depression and my seemingly endless rides on the med-go-round but to recap: Over the 20 years that I’ve lived with depression, I tried all the SSRIs and SNRIs that were available then. They all caused anorgasmia and only one of them worked for my depression and that was Effexor. So, I lived with being orgasm-less for many, many years. But I didn’t care very much because my libido was also in the shitter. Whether the low libido was caused by the meds or something else, I’m not sure. One thing I do know, is that once I got fed up with having no orgasms and went on a quest for solutions… wonderful things started happening.
First, I had to get my libido back. I was already taking Wellbutrin, which is often prescribed along side an SSRI to combat the sexual side effects. It doesn’t always work and it wasn’t working for me. I was on 350mg which is the maximum recommended dose in most of the literature but doctors have found that the dose can go as high as 450mg. So, that’s what we did and for once in a very long time, I actually felt like having sex. All of a sudden I’d gone from never wanting it and only going through the motions to wanting to hump my husband every single day. Needless to say, he was very happy. He’s a patient man but I know my lack of a sex drive was hard for him to deal with. I’m a lucky girl to have a guy that has stuck by me through all of this.
Around this same time, I had discovered sex toys. With my newly rekindled sex drive and the procurement of some clit vibes, I was having orgasms again but it was still very difficult and frustrating. Sometimes, it was still impossible. But I wasn’t complaining, I was happy to be having orgasms at all. Then, I wanted more.
I started searching the internet to see if there was any new information since the last time I searched so many years ago. I stumbled onto one obscure article in a medical journal that listed several drugs that could possibly reverse the anorgasmia caused by antidepressants. This excited me and I went to my shrink, asking if there was anything we could try. I didn’t mention anything about the article. So, her first idea was to give me Viagra. I kind of had my doubts but I went along with it. It didn’t work, was way too fucking expensive and my insurance didn’t cover it.
The next time I saw her, I mentioned the article and one of the drugs that was said to reverse the anorgasmia. There are no official studies that show it works but I was willing to give it a try. Plus I thought it would mesh well with my current cocktail[1. Pristiq (It is basically a “new and improved” version of Effexor), Wellbutrin, Risperdal, Adderall, Buspar and occasionally Klonopin] of pysch meds. That drug was Buspar (buspirone). It’s an anti-anxiety med (or, anxiolytic) but nothing like Xanax or the other benzodiazepines . You don’t become dependent on Buspar like you can on those drugs. My shrink didn’t have any problem with letting me try it so she prescribed 30mg per day. It comes in 15mg pills so I decided I’d just start there and go up to 30mg if needed.
I started taking the Buspar every morning and something miraculous began to happen. When I used my vibrators, I was easily having amazing powerful orgasms but still struggled every now and then. I decided to start taking the full dose of 30mg and it’s like my whole world changed. I was having orgasms with my vibrators almost every time I masturbated. I was even sometimes having multiples, which never happened to me before. I was beyond ecstatic. My orgasms had returned and were seemingly better than ever. Unfortunately, I still can’t have orgasms from oral sex. I guess I really do need the powerful stimulation of a vibrator, which a mere mortal just can’t provide. But who the fuck cares? I was getting off again, and again and again. It’s ultimately what sparked my interest in sex toys and motivated me to start this blog.
From my experience, Buspar seems to have a sweet spot and that probably varies from person to person just like so many other things. I got greedy and I thought – if I’m having orgasms this good now, maybe I can have even better ones if I increase the dose. I might even be able to orgasm from oral sex again. The maximum dose of Buspar is 60mg so, I asked my shrink if I could increase to that. She was fine with it so I did and something unexpected happened. I was suddenly having difficulty reaching orgasm again. That didn’t make any damn sense but I do know that many psych meds work in different ways at different doses. Some work on one neurotransmitter at lower doses and start to tweak another one as you increase the dose. So maybe something similar was happening with the Buspar. All I know is that 30mg seems to be the sweet spot for me. So, I lowered the dose back down and I’ve been having amazing orgasms ever since.
Since Buspar is an anti-anxiety med, your insurance is more likely to cover it than some other drugs. Your shrink will be prescribing it off label for your anorgasmia but your insurance will just think you have anxiety along with your depression. They likely wouldn’t cover it if they knew what it was really being used for. And if you just so happen to have some anxiety along with your depression, you might get a twofer out of it – more orgasms and less anxiety. Who doesn’t want that? If you ask your doctor about it and they don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, as I suspect many won’t, maybe print out that article and take it to them.
I’m not a medical professional. Just a gal with 20 years of experience with psychotropic meds and their side effects. So I know a little bit about them. Probably just enough to make me dangerous. But I hope that by writing this I can help someone else get their orgasms back. I can’t promise it will work for you but if you try it and it does (or, even if it doesn’t), please come back here and tell me about it.
Oh yeah, and one more thing. If you don’t already have a vibrator… GET ONE! I highly recommend this one for anyone with a clit. This one is great if you want something that’s dual purpose.
Thank you for the informative article. Sharing this kind of personal information is both brave and important.
Welbutrin was also my answer. Luckily, after menopause I no longer need it.
I’m glad it worked for you and that you no longer need it. I’ve accepted the fact that I will need to be medicated for the rest of my life. I’ve tried to live life without medication and it’s disastrous.
Once again, thank you for sharing! *smiles* I love that you speak out about this kind of thing. It’s infuriating that people are just expected to put up with loss of libido, so the more information available about rectifying that, the better 🙂
I know that I covered a lot of this in a previous post but I think this one is more concise and get’s down to the important information a lot better. Plus with all the current hub-bub around #orgasmquest, I thought it might be a good time to try to get the information out there to those who might need it.
Thank you for adding to the discourse.
Thanks. I hope that it’s information that can help someone.
Just starting taking buspar thanks to you. I have problems with both anorgasmia and my sex drive. I have always had a so called clit of steel but it’s getting worse, if it is because of my antideppressive medication, how I am created or because of my progressive ME/CFS I can’t tell. I can still climax thanks to great sex toys but I was hoping I can peak my sex drive a little as well as my ability to reach orgasm.
Even if it do not work I am still very greatfull to you for writing about it!
I hope it works for you but of course, there are no guarantees. If the Buspar doesn’t work for you, maybe try one of the other drugs listed in that article.
I really believe increasing my dose of Wellbutrin is what helped my libido but I guess it’s possible that the Buspar might help with that too.
I’m basing that off of what I learned when I wrote this post:
http://toymeetsgirlreviews.com/2013/07/a-pill-for-that.html
Apparently a company is trying to develop a drug that increases libido and it contains generic Buspar.
I wish you luck. It’s no fun at all when your sexual functioning is all screwed up.
Insurance companies should perhaps consider that a healthy sex life can contribute to a healthier individual? Lack of good sex and orgasms had a detrimental affect on my self-esteem and relationships. Recent improvements have helped me a lot emotionally. Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience.
I agree that medical professionals and insurance companies, hell even the pharmaceutical industry needs to make sexual health and satisfaction more of a priority, especially for women.
Ya know, when shrinks Rx these drugs they don’t tell you that it could kill your sex life. Now that we have the internet, it’s easier to find out for yourself but back when I started this journey like 20 years ago, you couldn’t go to the internet for answers.
So, when I was Rxed Prozac and lost my orgasmic functioning, I didn’t know WTF was going on. The shrink sure as hell didn’t warn me that it could be a side effect.
I’m bipolar with OCD and psychotic features and Buspar, when we upped the dose, made me bat-shit crazy again. The “O” of the OCD kicked up a few knotches and I was a mess. Next to Geodone it was the worst med for me.
It’s really cool to see how the same drug can affect different people. I’m glad that you found one that works for you!
Yeah, these psych drugs work differently for everyone. It’s interesting that you had like a paradoxical effect from the Buspar. Since it’s used to treat anxiety, I would have expected it to help your OCD.
I tried Geodone. Didn’t make me crazy but made me incredibly sick. I did like that I lost weight on it because I had no appetite. But I felt really awful overall and developed terrible tremors throughout my body.
I kept going to my GP, complaining about how I felt and she’d do blood work and say everything was fine and send me on my way. At the time I was on like 4 other meds plus the Geodone. I didn’t know it was that one making me sick but I just decided to switch to another AP and everything got better. I take Risperdal now.
I was on Risperadal too. It was great : )
Geodone made me get stuck outside of my body. My mom had to carry me because my body wouldn’t move and stay with me until it was out of my body. It made my pupils dilate and undialate. Scary as fuck, dude.
I just have to say that I so admire your perseverance and how you went out and educated yourself. I applaud you for taking charge of your health. You’re one kick ass lady.
Awww, thank you. That makes me feel really good. I’ve always been one to experiment… in all facets of my life. And I don’t think I’m ever done learning.
I was on anti depression medicine for pain relief on my nerve damaged back. It killed my ability to keep an erection even to this day and I haven’t touched any form of depression meds for a couple years.
Even viagra/cialis doesn’t allow me to fully maintain an erection during intercourse.
I’ve tried pumps,rings,even the hot octopus pulse nothing helps.
Now our sex is just full of frustration especially when it comes to coming and orgasms.
I feel practically nothing with my penis its so desensitised i can’t tell if I’m enjoying it or not .
I wish I had my erections and feelings back in my penis so sex can go back to how it was before
I am SO SORRY to hear this. I’ve run across accounts on message boards about sexual side effects persisting after the antidepressant was stopped. I didn’t know how prevalent it was. It’s definitely not something that anyone in the medical profession is addressing. I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. The last time I tried to live without meds, my sexual functioning returned to “normal”… meaning I didn’t have difficulty reaching orgasm anymore. I’m curious, which antidepressant(s) did you take?
Thank you for sharing this. I just cold-turkeyed my Zoloft, due in part to being incredibly frustrated with not having a sex drive and not CARING that I didn’t have a sex drive. I’m almost two weeks out now…I had been on 100mg daily for not quite a year. Meh. Still undecided if I’m going to stay off for good (it may turn out that I need an SSRI’s anti-depressive and anti-anxiety qualities more than I do a libido), but I’m going to file this away as “VERY Good to Know”. Interestingly, my husband was on Buspar for a while, for depression. I don’t think it worked that well for him.
Jenn, http://www.jenn.nu
I’m glad you found the information interesting and useful.
You probably already know, it’s not great to go off the meds cold turkey but I’m not judging since I’ve done it too.
As much as the meds killed my libido and orgasms, not taking them was not an option for me. That’s why I’m so happy to have found a solution that works for me.
And I have to say this because I’ve taken some heat lately, the Buspar worked for ME, it may not work for you or it may not even be right for you depending on the opinion of your doctor. But it is something that I found that finally gave ME relief. I’m not suggesting that it’s a cure all for everyone.
But if someone out there does benefit from this information, I will have done my job.
I’ve never heard of Buspar for depression. It’s really more for anxiety and not Rxed that often. My doctor says she doesn’t think it works (for anxiety).
Thank you for this article! I was actually looking for an anti anxiety medication to help with my issues (major depression and generalized anxiety). I haven’t left my house more than 4 times in the last five months, and I know i need an anti anxiety med, but since they’re often abused, my doctor hasn’t been very keen on giving me anything. I’ve tried almost every SSRI on the market, and the only anti depressant that did ANYTHING for me was a combination of effexor xr with wellbutrin (which, as you said, wrecks your sex drive). So, the fact that this could help me anxiety AND my sex drive is a dream. I’m going to ask about it when I can.
It’s definitely worth asking about. I’ve had nothing but positive experience with it but as you know, everyone is different and it may or may not work for you. Your doctor might not even think it’s right for you but I think as an informed patient, you should ask about it.
The impression I get is that it’s fallen out of favor and isn’t Rxed too often but I think it’s worth a try when other things, like SSRIs, haven’t worked or benzos need to be avoided.
Good luck and let me know what happens.
Thank you for the article! I will definitely be asking my doctor about this.
I was on Sertraline for three months and it not only sent my sex drive through the roof (apparently I’m one of the 0.01% that experiences increased sex drive from this drug!) but also gave me clitoral priapism AND anorgasmia! So I was permanently horny and had endurance of heroic proportions – I’m talking 3hrs on the brink – but couldn’t orgasm. It was wrist breakingly frustrating and ironically depressing! What’s the point of finally wanting sex (all the time!) if I couldn’t get no satisfaction?
I’ve recently switched to oxalate and it seems to have helped most of the symptoms. Yes it’s a bit sad that I don’t have the sex drive of a rabbit anymore but at least my clit is not endlessly throbbing in pain. Yay for small victories!
Yeah, that must be rare. Haven’t heard of that reaction to that drug. Just goes to show how differently we all react to these medications. I bet that was frustrating.
Did you mean “Escitalopram Oxalate”? I tried that one. Anorgasmia, as usual for me, and it really didn’t help with the depression. I’m glad it’s working for you.
Well the Buspar isn’t a cure all for everyone but I am just amazed at what it’s done for me. Definitely work with your doctor and if you try it, let me know how it goes.
Yes! That’s it! escitalopram oxolate – Lexapro right? I’d actually never even heard of it til I was prescribed it. Each day seems to be getting better – I can usually come before I/we get physically exhausted! Bonus!
There has been a positive side to the anorgasmia though, the whole experience has led me to some truly awesome blogs. I’ve learnt more about sex, good, bad and toxic toys and gender in the past few months than in my entire nearly 30yrs. Thank you 🙂